Pain and Purpose

“Your greatest pain is a clue to your life task”. These words were spoken by a mentor during a biography workshop ages ago. I took it to heart, even as the path didn’t become clear until I found myself (yet again) in relationship transition.

It was unexpected and, quite frankly, emotionally brutal. In the face of intense heartbreak, an unwavering resolve began to crystallize in me; I recognized the call to dive more deeply into my inner work. I had been swimming too long on the surface.

I revisited my curiosity about HeartMath® and did the Coach Training. It was good work, yet the clients I worked with would inevitably bring up relationship challenges. I didn’t feel equipped to go deeper with them. I didn’t know which way to turn so I carried it as a question within me as I continued to traverse the difficult terrain of my own situation.

The answer came as an email invitation to a free weekend webinar with Katherine Woodward Thomas on “Conscious Uncoupling”. I happened to be free and on my own that weekend, so I signed up. I had started the call a little distractedly. I listened as I puttered around my little airbnb. Within minutes, I was riveted and found myself googling the website to look for a contact email. I immediately sent an inquiry, expressing interest in any kind of training around this work. I didn’t even realize that this weekend was about inviting people to do just that because it was so early in the call!

But the work resonated so much. My body was vibrating in recognition. Within a few days I was enrolled in the course and only a few months later, I was sitting in a hotel function room in Los Angeles, listening to Katherine live and in person. Thus began my journey into the vast world of self-development coaching.

I think this is a profound way to heal—to turn the pain and heartbreak into service. The more we engage the inner work, the more freedom we have from the wounds that have kept us tethered to patterns of the past. There is a beautiful symmetry to it that gives new meaning to our suffering.

So let’s shift from “why is this happening to me” to “what do I need to learn from this and how can I transform it into service”? Then story by story, we begin to move from victimhood to curiosity, from blame to self-responsibility. Story by story, we begin to create a more heart-centered world.